she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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