yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
