it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
