who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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