I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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