I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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