have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
