So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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