What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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