Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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