why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
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