You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
