You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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