I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
