Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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