i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Still dying that you shit outside
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
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