I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
