I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
