is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
