I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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