there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
