I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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