Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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