Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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