her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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