Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
