I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm at about main and main street
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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