I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Someone shattered a urinal.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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