Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
