Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
