does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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