the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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