Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
