So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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