Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
