I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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