I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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