So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
