I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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