How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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