so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
How does one acquire holy water?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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