I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
