O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
