Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize