A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
