I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
