Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
