Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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