Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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