I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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