I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
