i don't plan on having that self control this summer
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
