well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I think my moral compass just broke
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
