he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
