he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
