I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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