I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
