Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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