He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
