It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
