I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
