I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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